Boy, are you a victim! You're hired!

May 25, 2022 By Robin M. Itzler @ American Thinker

As I watch people attain positions of stature and wealth thanks to their ability to tick off specific victim category boxes, it occurs to me that this is, at last, the time for me to achieve my lifelong dream.

Many people believe that Kamala Harris was offered the vice presidency solely because she is a woman "of color."  (Her father is Jamaican, and her mother is from India.)  This meant that Harris checked off two important boxes.  Her disastrous performance and inability to speak coherently don't bother liberals because she meets their P.C. demands.

Ditto for Pete Buttigieg, who it's said became secretary of Transportation primarily because he checks off a gay pride box.  When he's not home breastfeeding his adopted twins, Buttigieg is dreadfully overseeing the ongoing supply chain fiasco.

More recently, Karine Jean-Pierre was promoted to press secretary because she checks off three boxes: lesbian, black, and woman.  Liberals don't care that she can't perform the duties of her job — just that she checks off boxes.

Image: Checkboxes (edited) by freepik.

Watching so many people move up the ladder solely because they check off boxes on a form made me determined to follow my lifelong dream.  Here is a transcript of my job interview with Dr. Paxson Corbetzalug, known affectionately as "PC."

PC: I've read your résumé and wonder why you are applying for this position.

RI: All my life, I have dreamed of being a neurosurgeon.

PC: There are more than 600 neurological diseases, with some caused by faulty genes.  Can you share your views about Huntington's disease?

RI: No, but as a woman, I've been to the Huntington Library in Pasadena.

PC: Excellent, you're a woman!  Do you have experience dealing with diseases of the blood vessels that supply the brain, such as a stroke?

RI: No, but as a senior, I've taken cruises on many different vessels.

PC: Excellent, you're a senior!  Do you have any experience with spinal cord or spinal column injuries?

RI: No, but being Jewish, I am a big fan of Rob Reiner's cult film This Is Spinal Tap.

PC: Excellent, you're a minority religion!  Posterolateral lumbar fusion is one of the more common neurological procedures.  Have you any understanding about it?

RI: No, but being almost deaf never stopped me from buying lumber.

PC: Excellent, you're disabled!

RI: Do I get the job as a neurosurgeon?

PC: Let's see — you don't know a damn thing about neurology, but if I hire you as a neurosurgeon, the hospital can show that we hired an older minority deaf woman.  That's fantastic!  Can you start tomorrow?

Robin Itzler can be reached at PatriotNeighbors@yahoo.com