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De Omnibus Dubitandum - Lux Veritas

Monday, July 18, 2022

The Brilliance of Democrats

By Rational Db8

It is really incredible that the Dems manage to find the caliber of candidate for President that they do, time and again. I mean there have been: 

  1. Creepy gropin' crazy Uncle Quid Pro Quo Slow Alzheimer Joe 'I love it when kids rub my wet leg hairs down, jump on my lap, and watch it rise again' Biden, sometimes affectionately known as "Racist Plagiarism Plugs".
  2. Mini Mike "Big Gulp, Lemme Frisk You - and I'm great at plagiarizing policies too!" 
  3. Bloomy, Hillary "the FBI certified me as too stupid and corrupt to handle national security documents, I want to be president! Oh, and never mind those thousands of slam dunk felonies to my name".
  4. Clinton, aka Quid Pro Dough Felonia Von Pantsuit William "Slick Willy Teflon Cigar" Clinton.
  5. Barack "I'm god, will fundamentally change America into a socialist cesspool AND stop the rise of the seas" O'bow'ma.
  6. Al "I'm such a great con man I can suck hundreds of millions off you rubes by pretending AGW is real even tho I'm scientifically illiterate" Goricle (Goricle = Gore + Icicle since anywhere he goes it turns unseasonably cold).
  7. Ketchup John Swiftboat "I love conspiring with the enemy" Kerry, sometimes affectionately known as "Lurch," 'who, by the way, served in Vietnam.' 
  8. Bernie "I'm an ancient curmudgeon with no accomplishments to my name other than getting elected, an unconstitutional socialist, and racist anti-semite from top to bottom!" Sanders.
  9. Fauxcahontas, aka Liarwatha Running Joke Saint 
  10. Boo-Boo Baby Buttigieg - 'I couldn't even run a small town, let me run the entire nation!' 
  11. Amy "Bobblehead" Klobachar.
  12. Beto "I'm a fake Hispanic, LUV dressing up as a sheep and singing in the worst band ever, all when I'm not doing vehicular hit and runs" O'Rourke.
  13. Cory "Spartacus" Booker.
  14. Senator Kamala "I sleep my way to the top!" Harris.
  15. Screamin' Howard "YAAAAAAAAaaaaaa!!!" Dean.
  16.  Jimmah "I'm a peanut fahmah - NOT a nuclur expert, contrary to reports" Cahtah.
  17. Michael "Zorba the Clerk, look at me - I can ride a tank! " Dukakis. 
  18. The Breck Girl, John "I feel pretty - gotta have my $1,250 haircut!" Edwards, so I look good while banging my mistress on the plane as my wife is dying.
  19. Heck, they even had Al "race baiter extraordinaire who actually got people killed, a $4.5 million tax cheat" Sharpton as a presidential candidate one year. 
  20.  And let's not forget his good buddy, fellow race baiter Jesse "I hate [I'd quote what he said about NY City Jews, but the automatic filters stop the post then!]!" Jaaak-suun, etc., etc., etc. 
  21. Next thing you know, they'll be running Alexandria "commie barbie - my IQ test was negative!" Ocasio-Cortez for president, regardless of the fact that she's proven to be entirely Factose Intolerant! 
  22. That, or good ol' Mad Max "Impeach fortified" Waters. 
  23.  Hank "islands tip over and sink if overpopulated" Johnson. 

It's mind boggling that out of 340+ million people, these are the BEST the Dems can come up with - and they actually seem to think they're competent - and they're willing to actually vote for them rather than laughing them off the stage on day one!

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