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De Omnibus Dubitandum - Lux Veritas

Monday, October 14, 2024

From the Back Forty: Harris in the Heartland

What in tarnation?

Editor’s Note: From the Back Forty is Liberty Nation’s longest running and most popular weekly column. 

Folks From the Back Forty are attempting to grasp a week of good vibes and joyful noises emanating from the Harris-Walz campaign chemtrails. Passion and memories have replaced facts when the running mate is asked to clarify falsehoods in a rather goofy display of poor deniability and deflection, and within days, a brand-spanking-new pandering accent has been test-piloted into a mid-air crash.

This week saw former President Barack Obama campaigning to a demographic within a demographic: not just black voters, but black men specifically. He claims that being a bully like Trump is not being a man. He says he’s alarmed that support for Harris is down. “I am here to tell you that is not what real strength is,” Obama sadly stated. “Now, I also want to say that seems to be more pronounced with the brothers,” Obama said.

There are a lot of confused faces talking about politics these days.

Harris: Oops, She Did It Again

Kamala Harris has unveiled a new accent for use in the southwestern states and Florida: Spanglish. For the uninformed, Spanglish is often used by people who are not bi-lingual but think they might be well understood. During a Univision Town Hall – of all places – Harris said in that nasal voice: “First of all, thank you for the question, and I hope your family is okay and your home is okay,” putting a Spanglish twang on the word “okay.” New Mexicans, Arizonans, and Texans rolled their eyes in concert.

 

Rogelio Longoria of Irving, TX, was offended and commented: “On behalf of the Latin community we do not approve of this accent and move her onwards to our Asian brothers and sisters’ good luck with her.” Kevin Webb from Tennessee had a better idea: “Let’s hear a Cajun accent.”

Walz Gets Manly

Tim Walz is kicking off a manly-man media blitz. Apparently, pretending to change an air filter on his vehicle was not convincing men that he was up to the task of VP. First on the docket was a sit-down interview with ABC’s Michael Strahan on a football field. Strahan, former footballer for the NY Giants, was kind to the portly Walz but peppered him with questions about his lies on Tiananmen Square, weapons of war, and the like.

Walz explained: “I wear my emotions on my sleeve.” Oh, and that he was so stinking “passionate.” That will not cut it for the Manly-Man tour. He still has a Friday Night Lights party at Mankato West and a Pheasant hunting trip with influencers.

From Johnson Creek, WI, Lionel Colon called him out: “He keeps lying because he doesn’t know any better. A person who’s truly passionate doesn’t need to lie about anything.”

“Oh boy, just what we want to help lead our country! An emotional mess,” worried Debby Michelly of Lincoln Park, MI.

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Walz’s wife, Gwen, didn’t make the situation any better when she attempted to sing a fight song to introduce her husband in Beloit, WI. “When the Scarlet team comes on the field, we will all stand up and cheer,” she sang quietly into the microphone. “To the other team, we’ll never yield, and we won’t forget we’re here.”

It was yet another cringe-worthy moment from the woman who told the world she left her windows open during the 2020 Black Lives Matter riots so she could smell the burning tires. “She sings, and hubby does the spaz dance,” said Anne Cinquegrana of Apex, NC. “They should take their show on the road and just keep going.”

Jim Becky Ramsey in La Grange, GA, explained: “As they would say in the south, these people are peculiar.”

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