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De Omnibus Dubitandum - Lux Veritas

Tuesday, December 20, 2022

I Just Wanted to Make a Snowman

By Rich Kozlovich

We've fallen into a culture pit here in America.  I received this yesterday, and clearly it's worth publishing.  I have no idea who originated this, but to whomever it was, kudos for clarity!!!!!

We received about 4 inches of snow yesterday and this morning at:   

  • 8:00 am: I made a snowman.   
  • 8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.   
  • 8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.   
  • 8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified women everywhere.   
  • 8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.  
  • 8:22 - The transgender man.. Woman...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.   
  • 8:25 - The vegans at the end of the street complained about the carrot nose, because veggies are food and should not be used to decorate snow figures.   
  • 8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.   
  • 8:30 - I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.  
  • 8:37 - Then accused of being a racist using a black face on the snow person.   
  • 8:39 - The Middle Eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be completely covered.   
  • 8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended.   
  • 8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.   
  • 8:43 - The 'council on equality' officer arrived and threatened me with eviction. 
  • 8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I knew the difference between snowmen and snow-women?  I replied "Snowballs" and am now accused of being sexist.  
  • 9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.   
  • 9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.   
  • 9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding that I be arrested. 
  • 9:45 - The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media.   
  • 10:00 - I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman.   
Moral: There ain't no moral to this story. It is what this country has become because of Snowflakes.  

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