Daniel Greenfield
October 19, 2021
Gone are the days when Lebanese
billionaires, Qatari royalty, and the son-in-law of the former president
of the Ukraine would shower the Clinton Foundation with gold. The crime
ring originally co-created by Jeffrey Epstein now spends more moolah than it takes in.
All that’s left for the Clintons to do is get real jobs. If only they were qualified to do anything.
Bill
isn’t about to work the fry machine at McDonald’s, Hillary won’t answer
customer service calls for AT&T, and Chelsea, the only one of the
bunch who had a real job this century, isn’t going back to interviewing
the Pets.com sock puppet for NBC News. Instead, following in the
footsteps of the Obamas, they’re doing all they know how to do. Get paid
for making stuff up.
Hillary Clinton, the least interesting
low-functioning sociopath in politics, has churned out three memoirs.
The first, Living History, was about the time Bill cheated on her with
Monica, the second, Hard Choices, was about the time she got Americans
killed in Benghazi, and the third, What Happened, was about losing the
2016 presidential election.
Rarely has anyone outside reality
television or a carnival spent this much time milking their own
humiliation. Having run out of embarrassments to monetize, Hillary tried
horning in on Chelsea’s scam, writing thumbnail biographies about
feminist heroines by co-writing The Book of Gutsy Women, a reworking of
Chelsea's She Persisted series, only to have it
perform worse
than Chelsea's books. It’s pretty sad when people would rather buy
Chelsea’s books about Greta Thunberg and Sonia Sotomayor than Hillary
claiming she was inspired by Donna Reed.
(The episode in which
Donna Reed sold out America to the Chinese, covered up her husband’s
sexual abuses, and tried to frame Emily as a Russian spy to win an
election is not available.)Simon and Schuster invested millions
in Hillary and doesn't have much to show for it except Grandma's
Gardens, a book targeting the most gullible audience, little children,
to try and convince them that Hillary Clinton ever set foot in a garden
for any purpose that didn't involve Vince Foster's body.
(See Grandma
put the gun in Vince’s hand, see her squeeze the trigger, see her guzzle
a glass of chardonnay, and then start digging a hole under the oak
tree.)Grandma’s Gardens currently ranks #1,401,680 in the Kindle
store because even if their parents voted for her, the smallest
children have been raised on fairy tales warning them that grandma has
no pants suit and that it’s best to avoid her gingerbread cottage and
socialized medicine.
After trying and failing to steal Chelsea’s
feminist children’s books racket, Hillary went back to the linchpin of
her political career, stealing Bill’s gig. Bill Clinton had given up on
memoirs and began “co-writing” thrillers with James Patterson. The
Washington Post headlined an article about Bill's co-pilot with, "James
Patterson mostly doesn’t write his books." But that's okay because as
long as he can walk a straight line, he's still miles ahead of Bill
Clinton.
The only mystery of the series that began with The
President is Missing is who is writing these things. The last one, The
President's Daughter, might have been controversial if anyone were
actually reading these things, because
it depicted Islamic terrorists yelling, “Allahu Akbar”.
“Please.
Islam is a religion of peace, isn’t it?" the novel's stand-in for
Chelsea Clinton pleads. “Oh, you young ignorant girl. What you don’t
know about me and Islam could fill a container ship," the terrorist
replies. It’s a shame that whoever is writing Bill Clinton’s novels
wasn’t instead writing policy briefings for his administration during
the rise of Al Qaeda.
More seriously, the novel also
appeared to suggest that Bill Clinton bombed the Chinese embassy during the Yugoslavian war to stop them from making off with F-117 parts.
Had
anyone in China or anywhere on the planet actually read the book, there
might have been an international incident. Fortunately no one, outside
Gitmo, will pick up a Clinton book. But that doesn’t stop the Clintons
from writing them anyway and from being paid millions for it.
After
Bill Clinton’s series about a president who is just like him, apart
from being a former Army Ranger who can kill men with his bare hands,
Hillary Clinton decided to “write” her own thriller.
State of
Terror, the first admitted work of fiction from Hillary, is now in
bookstores. Despite its name, it’s not actually about the experience of
working for her or being married to her. Instead it features Secretary
of State Ellen Adams whose husband is dead, as Hillary wishes Bill could
be.
“Co-written” with Canadian mystery novelist Louise Penny, State of Terror is Hillary fanfic.
Hillary,
that is Ellen, is forced to cope with a Republican president nicknamed
“President Dumb” who pulls out of the Iran Deal and then goes to Florida
to play golf, and his Democrat successor who is described as “rude” and
a “fool”, but appoints his worst enemy as Secretary of State.
There’s also a “vast right wing conspiracy”. Obviously.
(But
while Bill and Hillary’s fictional adventures battling Islamic
terrorism are implausible, they’re more plausible than Huma Abedin’s
upcoming memoir "BOTH/AND: A Life In Many Worlds”.)
There’s
always been a thin line between fact and fiction for the Clintons. Now
they’ve crossed it by switching from fictionalizing their real lives to
turning reality into fiction. For a woman who falsely claimed that she
had landed under fire in Yugoslavia and brought peace to Northern
Ireland, Hillary can finally legally make up things she didn’t do and
have people pay her for it.
And yet Hillary was much better at making things up when she expected people to believe it.
State
of Terror, like Hillary, is tedious and badly written. Hillary's lies
were interesting because of their implausibility. State of Terror though
is fan fiction about herself. "The appointment of Ellen Adams was
fodder at DC dinner parties. It was all anyone at Off the Record, the
basement bar of the Hay-Adams, could talk about. Why did she accept?"
State of Terror asks.
The answer has nothing to do with the small
army of Clinton Foundation donors who lobbied the State Department
during her term because Hillary isn’t about to tell the truth even in
fiction.
“By far the greater, more interesting question was why
had then President-Elect Williams offered his most vocal, most vicious
adversary a place in his cabinet? And State, of all things?”
In the Hay-Adams basement bars, the men come and go talking of Hillary Clinton.
There
were already two fan fiction TV series made about Hillary, Commander in
Chief and Madam Secretary: the latter backed by TV’s version of
Harvey Weinstein.
And the Clintons created HiddenLight Productions with Richard Branson’s
son to make Gutsy Women into a series for Apple TV. With two decades of
Hillary Clinton fan fiction, State of Terror doesn’t just jump the
shark, it shoots it into outer space. There’s something truly pathetic
about Hillary jumping into the fading market in her own fan fiction to
make a little more chardonnay money.
Last year there was Rodham, a
novel which imagined what would have happened if Hillary hadn’t married
Bill Clinton. This year, When I'm a Moth, an indie film, depicts
Hillary going to work in an Alaska cannery and sleeping with its
Japanese workers. The ad pitch for it is, "History, News, Fake News,
Fake History." Or, more simply, fake everything.
“Don’t you ever feel like you’re not a real person?” Moth’s fictional incarnation of Hillary asks.
A better question would be whether Hillary Clinton was ever a real human being and who cares.
The
establishment and its media told us for two decades that Hillary was an
extraordinarily talented human being who, if not for the shadow of her
husband, would have changed the world. But even as Bill faded, Hillary’s
future collapsed in a web of scandals and defeats. Since the unraveling
of her presidential aspirations, she’s done little but copy everyone
else.
The production company is a ripoff of Obama’s Higher Ground
Productions. After ripping off her daughter’s feminist book brand
didn’t work, she’s ripping off Bill’s thriller book brand.
Hillary is a shallow parasite who can’t even come up with her own money making gimmicks.
After
generations of lying to get ahead, she’s now lying on purpose. But
Hillary’s lies were only interesting because of the spectacle of a
prominent political figure just making stuff up. It’s much less
entertaining when Hillary is stuck making things up because that’s the
only way to cash in.
Tags:
Hillary Clinton,
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About Daniel Greenfield
Daniel Greenfield is a journalist investigating Islamic terrorism and
the Left. He is a Shillman Journalism Fellow at the David Horowitz
Freedom
