Forty Awfully Fast Years!

Well, it was forty years today since I was blessed with the perfect woman.  She gave me a card today that had little stick-ems on it with sayings she clearly picked out just for me.  The card outlines the things the wife “just knows” and then what the husband “just knows”, and goes like this:”

“Things a Wife Just Knows”

1.    Garbage doesn’t take itself out

2.    Meat is his favorite meal

3.    A grunt is like “Aloha”, it means hello and good-bye

4.    Sharing the remote is a SUPREME sacrifice

5.    A razor is for legs or face, not both.

6.    A paper towel isn’t a napkin

7.    Televised sports and “having a talk” don’t mix,  actually he is listening but also to  something else in his head

8.    He doesn’t “need a list” but still calls from the store

9.    Underwear – Hers on the floor?  SEXY!  His? NOT!

10. “Nookie” is always the perfect gift!

11.   Necessities: food, clothing, shelter…. and ample closet space. 

“Things This Husband Just Knows”

1.       He’s really, really, really Lucky!

As I said I thought this card came with a series of stick-ems that she could choose from based on her life experience with me.  As I looked more closely to what looked like stick-ems I realized they weren’t  stick-ems chosen just for me at all.  The card came that way!  It’s kind of startling how typical men are, and clearly does nothing for our egos.  Aha!  So that's the real purpose of the card.  It's a conspiracy!