Advice to the College-Bound from the Old, White Professor

August 4, 2019 By Abraham H. Miller

In a few weeks, some of you will be going off to college. But before you commit yourself to the decision and the ensuing financial burden, there are a few things you should know.

Nearly all college experiences begin with a series of orientation sessions. Most start with the assumption that you are the cursed offspring of a flawed society. You come to college not to be educated but to be reeducated. You have imbibed of racism, sexism, and homophobia. And for some outrageous amount of tuition that will send many of you into perpetual debt, the modern-day Gletkins of academia will purge you of these impure thoughts.

The brainwashing will begin in orientation but will not end there. If you live in a dormitory, there will be required sensitivity sessions run by minions from the office of residence life. These generally are graduate students who are shouldering the intellectual rigors of a degree in education administration.

The aim of these sessions, which are reminiscent of those imposed on Soviet factory workers to remove their “mechanistic thinking,” is to reeducate you to rid yourself of the values your parents taught you.

Many of you, irrespective of discipline, will be compelled to complete a multicultural requirement. These courses are compulsory because otherwise no rational person would sit through them...............To Read More.....