Interview With Kamala Harris

By Rich Kozlovich

I thought a little satire was in order over Kamala's performance at the debate, versus her interviews where she's like Alice lost in Wonderland.  All of which gives a lot of credibility to the idea she was fed the questions and coached on the answers at the debate.  So, here it is. 

P&D - What do you say to those who  accuse you of spouting rambling incomprehensible word salads. 

Kamala - My thoughts aren't just lies, platitudes, and nonsense, they're points for voters to ponder.  Right side up isn't right side down you know.  And right side down isn't the same as right side up!  That's why I love America, because everybody's up or down.  I take pride in that, as it makes it easier to come together.  The freedom to just be. 

P&D - So, what they're calling "word salads" is in reality "projections of depth and sincerity".  Is that correct?

Kamala -  Right, did I mention I was raised dirt poor, worked my way through college by working at McDonald's.  There are so many burdens, including time and distance.

P&D - Kamala there's a lot of talk that you are clueless, how do you respond to that?

Kamala - I don't worry about facts, my only concern is how everything feels.  If I want facts, I just repeat whatever those brilliant journalists on CNN, ABC, and MSNBC have to say, as was told to them by our party's department of truth.   

P&D - Tell us, how do you handle all this criticism? 

Kamala - First of all, I'm easily offended and I will be as obnoxious as I need to be, which is why I run through a lot of staff.  They try to blame me for my failures, so I treat them with contempt.  They're so thin skinned.  But normally I just cackle to cover up my rage, and I do so because I know anyone who disagrees with anything I say, anything I do, or any position I take, is a racist, misogynist, Islamophobic, xenophobic homophobe.  So there! And I will shoot anyone who breaks into my house.

P&D - Tell us your views on the cost of living?

Kamala - I hear a lot about that and it impacts the aspirations and dreams of Americans, even for generations past and future.  The answer is far more elusive than ever, and we need to deal with that.  But if we come together I believe what is possible, what we believe in, and what we believe in is worth fighting for.  Did I mention time and distance? 

P&D - Thank you Vice President Kamala Harris, I'm sure all this helps to clarify America's views of you on your run for President of the United. 

Kamala - Is that wine I see over there?