Is Aphorism Another Name For Humor and Snarkiness?

By Rich Kozlovich

I have huge files on everything, and I will occasionally go back to see what I've left forgotten. This has been sitting in my files since 2007, and I have no idea who originated it, but I thought it was worth publishing anyway.  We need a bit of humor, satire, and down right snarkiness occasionally.     

1. It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.
2. You are not drunk  if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
3. We have enough "youth". How about a fountain of "smart"?
4. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
5. A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.
6.  Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two it's an amusement park.
7. Learn from your parents mistakes.  Use birth control.
8.  Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
9. Don't drink and drive you might hit a bump and spill something.
10.  If at first you don't succeed skydiving is not for you. 
11. Reality is only an illusion.
12. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
13. Red meat is not bad for you  Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
14. Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.
15. Alabama state motto:  At least we're not Mississippi.
16. Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to produce reproductive organs
17. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
18. The latest survey shows three out of four people make up 75% of the population.
19. "You know why a banana is like a politician? He comes in and first he is green,then he turns yellow and then he's rotten."
20.  "I think Congressmen should wear uniforms, you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors."
21. The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would 'hate' to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.

I hope you got a chuckle or two out of that, and perhaps a repeatable insight or two.