I Have Found Another Million Green Jobs! Or Not?

By Rich Kozlovich

I posted this article today; BLS Releases Another Phony 'Green Jobs' Report.  The author outlines how this administration has presented a "chock full of charts claiming millions of new "green" jobs being produced by President Obama's efforts to heal the planet and lower the rising seas."  The problem lies in how one defines a green job.  Here is a paraphrased definition based on this article.

A "green" job is any job that is of benefit to the environment, or is capable of conserving natural resources.  Any job in which a workers' duties involve making their establishment's production processes more environmentally friendly or use fewer natural resources.

It would seem to me that a "green" job would be job that didn't exist before we adopted "green" alternatives to something that already existed, and unlike 'all' these green initiatives existed effectively I might add.  However, that isn’t the case.

Let's consider solar power programs.  I would have to assume that electricians put these useless things together and hook them up.  Right?  Is that a "green" job?  That seems unlikely to me since electricians have been around for a very long time. So being an electrician isn't a new job and it wasn't created by "green" technology; and that job will be here after the world returns to sanity and dumps all this green claptrap.  But by definition.....that must be a green job!

That got me to thinking.  We in the pest control industry have a bit of an identity crisis.  We have normal people like me who realize that to be green is to be irrational, misanthropic and morally defective.  I do think clarity is important.  Then we have those suffering from cognitive dissonence and insist that they must “go green” because their customers are demanding it.  Okay, I can understand meeting the needs or demands of one’s customers.  That’s a business decision, and one I have no fight over.  But the ones who seem to believe all the greenie mythology are the ones who drive me crazy.  To truly believe in green anything and to be in pest control is clearly a case of cognitive dissonance, believing in two diametrically opposing views and believing both are right. 

Well, I have discovered a solution to all of that.   Based on the government's definition of a green job.....we.....all of us.….are now are holding green jobs.  After all; we strive to eliminate pests.  That must be good for the environment.  We strive to use less gasoline, less pesticides and less of everything else and still be effective; don’t we?  I know the reason is economic, but …..nonetheless….we are conserving….right?  So that means we are conserving and using less of a great many things…..right?  Ergo…..We are a green industry with at the least 150,000 employees automatically added to the “green” jobs list.  And what about the greens keepers, lawn care companies, landscapers? I sit on a board of directors of an association that represents all the pesticide and fertilizer applicators in Ohio, and I know for a fact they are doing their darnedest to reduce costs on all that stuff….that makes those jobs green jobs also….right? 

Wow!  Doesn’t that make you feel all warm and fuzzy all over?  Exterminators, farmers, landscapers, greens keepers and lawn care workers are all green according to government standards.   Surely those categories alone must include at least a million workers.  

I do have one question though.  Now based on the government's definition of what constitutes a “green” job, we must all be identified as “green” workers; therefore does that mean the “green” activists will stop attacking us? 

There is one more thing; I didn’t notice “green” activists on the “green” jobs list.  So then….they aren't green….right?  Wow! Isn't that warm and fuzzy feeling getting better and better all the time?  Except there is still one more thing that bothers me; the author says those are 'phony' figures.  Hey....just wait one minute!  Is it possible that there is no such thing as a "green" job at all?   And does that mean we are all right back to where we started?  Well, if that's the case, then I still believe that to be green is to be irrational, misanthropic and morally defective, and I further believe those who on the opposing side in the pest control industry suffer from cognitive dissonance, and the administration loses a million green jobs. 

I also believe it's so important to have clarity!