There is No Such Thing as a Conspiracy!

By Rich Kozlovich

Recently there was all of this talk by Rush Limbaugh over a girl by the name of Sandra Fluke who claims that she and her friends at college need to have their contraception costs paid for by society. Rush called her a slut and a prostitute. Isn't that a bit strong; even for Rush? Even though I agree with Rush on most things he says, I can’t stand to listen to him because he is arrogant and rude; and if I find him so difficult to listen to it makes me wonder how all the lefties know what he is saying. Having said that I do have to acknowledge that he really knows how to stir up the manure and get things started, so let’s see where this takes us!

I was curious as to what in the world this girl and her friends were doing so that it cost her classmates over three thousand dollars a year for contraception, so I did some analysis. Since she wasn’t clear about how much over three thousand dollars a year they spent, I calculated everything at $3000.00 and $4000.00. You can fill in the rest yourself. I looked up some information and here is what I found.

Birth control pills can run between $15.00 and $50.00 a month. That translates to between $180.00 and $600.00 per year, and I am given to believe there are implants that cost under $200.00 and last for three years. Those figures are immaterial as to how much intercourse she or her friends are having but that is clearly a far cry from the figures she cites. However there are aspects to contraception that will require some calculations based on how much sexual activity goes on.

Male condoms cost between $.50 and $1.00 a piece. Female condoms cost between $2.00 and $4.00 a piece. Fifty cent male condoms @ $3.000 a year would translate to having intercourse 16.438 times a day. At $4.000 it would translate to 21.917 times a day. For $1.00 condoms that would still translate to 8.219 and 10.958 times a day respectively. Remarkable!

Female condoms are a bit more expensive. They run between $2.00 and $4.00 a piece. At $3.000 would translate to 4.109 sexual encounters a day using the lower $2.00 price condoms. For the higher priced $4.00 condoms she would be having an encounter 2.54 times a day. At $4000.00 it would be 5.479 or 2.739 times a day respectively.

That is every day; seven days a week; three hundred and sixty five days a year. These Georgetown Jesuit law school (does that seem a bit Twilight Zonish to anyone but me?) girls are really busy girls! Even at the lower numbers I wonder how long it is going to take them to get through law school at that rate.

My first thought was….well….those numbers certainly seem to indicate a group of women suffering from serious mass sexual addiction problems. Can this possible be true? Does it seem likely that all the women in the nation with sexual addiction problems go to Georgetown? That doesn't seem likely! Then I realized the answer.

Let’s make an unsubstantiated assumption that they are really only having intercourse two to three times a week. At the higher numbers of one dollar male condoms that would only translate to either $105.00 a year for twice a week or $156.00 a year for three times a week. For female condoms at four dollar each it would cost either $416.00 or $624.00 a year. So what is the other two or three thousand for? Flowers, dinner, dancing and romancing the lady before intercourse. And since they want this to be covered in the women’s health care coverage the “ladies” are in effect paying for all of this, including the sex. So then, we must conclude that Rush is wrong, at least partially; they aren’t prostitutes; they are Johns…or is that Janes in the case of women?

So now....did I understand this story properly? Well....actually....no! And almost no one else understood this whole story properly either. I think we can dismiss the idea that Georgetown is filled with women with deep and damaging psychological problems, so then we have to ask; is it possible that all the women with sexual addiction problems who are going to college in the nation have chosen her as their representative to speak for them? That just doesn't seem likely either!

It appears that this seemingly demure well spoken and well presented young woman is in reality a plant. Everyone was under the impression that she was what she claimed to be; a 23 year old Georgetown law student who, after reviewing their insurance policy, enrolled at the university to battle their policy regarding contraception. Which seems to be a bit Twilight Zonish to me also, by the way! Then magically, at the same time Congress is debating the forced coverage of contraception, she appears and is even brought to Capitol Hill to testify. This morning, in an interview with Matt Lauer on the Today show, it was revealed that she is 30 years old, NOT the 23 that had been reported all along. In other words, folks, you are being played. She has been an activist all along and the Dems were just waiting for the appropriate time to play her.

It turns out this really is a Twilight Zone drama "to take the attention off of Barack Obama's assault on religious freedom." It gets better. It turns out she has been an activist for some years fighting against domestic violence and human trafficking, for which she should be commended. But she is no unknown 23 year old neophyte who just dropped in one day at a Congressional hearing to promote forced contraception payments by groups that disagree with this on religious grounds. We already know that she is no mathematician, and we now know that she was a plant.

So perhaps Rush was right after all? But no matter....let's never....never.....ever forget this one all consuming fact. There is no such thing as a conspiracy! Is there?
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