Thoughts For the Day From Maury

Editor's Note:  My friend Maury Siskel sent this to me last night and I thought you might enjoy this.  RK

Eat and Drink

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.  It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

• The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
• The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
• The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
• The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans..
• The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you

Editor's Note:  Now, I don't know if any of this is true,  and I don't have the time to look this up, but one thing I know for sure - there's a reason why statistics are called the "arcane science".  You can prove anything about everything with statistics.  Coffee is an excellent example.   It's gone from bad to good and back again so many times no one cares any longer.  So the "speaking English" answer is probably as good as any.  And even if it isn't - I just liked this. 

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A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is going to poison me."

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's going to poison me. What should I do?" The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."

A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "I spoke to your wife on the phone for three hours. You want my advice? The man said, "Yes" and the Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."

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Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"

Artie said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."

 Eugene commented, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives.."

Al said, "I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'"