Please Don't Let Us Run Out of Scares!

By Rich Kozlovich

I'm shocked that I made it to the semi-ripe age of 68. During the course of my life society has faced one life ending crisis after another. There was the nuclear winter, mega-famines, global cooling leading to a new Ice Age, acid rain, bird flu, death by fluoride, cancer from chlorine in my water, one Chernobyl catastrophe after another, DDT and all other pesticides, mega-famines, Repetitive Strain Injury, the millennium bug, SARS, toxic PVC, women became terror stricken over poisonous breast implants, death by fluoride, cancer by chlorine and unknown other agents, BSE beef that would eat our brains, GM food, ADHD, collapse of the world’s economy, running out of oil, gas, silver, tin, uranium, aluminum, copper, lead and zinc, catastrophic floods, plague, pestilence, tornadoes, drought, desolation, and endocrine disruption.

Shocking how we managed to survive all of these disasters! Oh, wait.......none of those 'disasters' occurred .........did they? Wow! Does that mean we can stop worrying and ignore these scares as mere scare mongering? 

Absolutely not!

There is still hope for a worldwide life ending disaster - anthropogenic global warming. Thank goodness! I was afraid we would have to abandon our national penchant for serial panic as a societal paradigm. 

Whew...that is such a relief! For a second that I even thought we might have to start using reason and logic in our decision making.  You know, the kind of thinking based on real science and history. Whew, that's really scary!  

Thank goodness we still have the Main Stream Media to keep us off balance, all with the ardent support of green activists and their minions in the federal bureaucracy. If we didn’t have them can you imagine what a mess it would be if all these people out here walking around without some scare or other to outrage them and keep afraid and needy?

The worst possible disaster in the world would then be imposed on humanity.  Activists would have to go out and get real jobs.  

Now that truly would be a disaster for that part of the world's population known as "business". You know who I mean. Those people that provide all the jobs and produce all the food and goods we need to survive. Can you imagine what a mess the working world would be in if they were in it?  Environmental activism is a wonderful thing. It finds jobs for those who are irrational, misanthropic, morally defective, unemployable and consistently wrong. 

See - there really is a silver lining in everything if we just make an effort to look for it.